I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
