i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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