i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
