So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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