I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
