just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
