i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We got so high we made milksteak
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
