I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
