If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
