I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
