It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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