Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
