Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
