Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
how drunk are you?
Several
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
