already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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