people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
