I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
