What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
