i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
