i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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