the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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