just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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