capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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