And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
