White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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