i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
smell my finger.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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