hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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