I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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