I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
