i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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