Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
