Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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