mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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