I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
