I love black thongs
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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