I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
