I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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