he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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