i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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