i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If I die, sorry about rent.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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