I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
