Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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