They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
