I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
