last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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