:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
birth control should be required to get into college
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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