Sponge bath it is.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
