Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
