Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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