oh god the rape fog is back!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
