Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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