is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
