ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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