Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think i have two assholes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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