Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
