Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've blown a few things in my day
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
