it was like his penis was on wheels.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
