She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
