i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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