Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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